When it comes to love, are there any rules to consider to survive heartaches? These rules below may sound realistic and practical but it will help in some way to survive the complications that love brings.

1.Do not believe someone right away when they say “I Love You.”

Sure, words are words and they cannot be taken back. But proving these three words takes commitment and time. We might find the right person but we must also find the right way to show “I love you” in actions. And yes, ladies, tradition and culture does not exclude us in this drill. A little of both words and actions can be a healthy approach, guys. Mixed signals do not count – we are no longer in high school you know. We deal with gross follow ups and real efforts in the adult world.

2. Do not bank into too much effort in long distance relationship to the point of bankruptcy.

Yes, this does not only apply to our financial means but to our emotional capacity as well. You cannot keep on giving what is not being given back. Sometimes we chose to give and give, hoping to be taken seriously but if the other person does not know how to give back – leave. Leave before you embitter yourself too much to the point of being unforgiving. Hey, check your bank account too – you do not want to break the bank in any investment. Learn that money can be a good reason to invest in something but in the end its always about the time. You can never take that back!

3. Good physical, intellectual, emotional chemistry is not a basis of a relationship.

Men equate longing to loving and women equate loving to longing. See where this is leading to? Leading to nowhere of course because the two parties does not meet eye to eye. Spending time in bed tumbling is left best in the bedroom. Accept that some chemistry just do not work out in the world called real world because some people just do not like the real work it takes.

4. You just have to enjoy Rule #3 as it is.

Giving meaning to many things can end up making you crazy or in the least paranoid. Yes, we want to make excuses for someone we love but you could run out of excuses. So better be in the moment to remember the good parts while it lasts. If it does not last, then have the good memories and move on. And of course, be safe all the time. You do not want to end up complicating things more with diapers.

5. The “I’m busy” and “I do not have time” reasons are like worn-out tires – they are good for the trash bins or for burning.

People still make use of them because they are convenient or think they are still useful for other things. Its like being told you by a person who answers this that “I am full of shit” and you would like to answer them “Go to the bathroom, you are indeed full of shit!”. But, these reasons do apply at times – but being told almost all the time is real bull shit. If you do not like going out with a certain person then save them the effort of chasing you or figuring out what you meant when you said “I’m busy.” F*ck. Tell them straight in the face. It takes a real adult to allow themselves to play a bad guy and are not afraid of hurting someone else’s feelings to give them an honest answer. Truth hurts but it should be known. Tough love for humanity is being exercised here. If you keep leading them on forever – shame on you. You are only stopping yourself and that person freedom and self growth. Well, its another story if you are really an asshole or a user. You see some people intend to mislead others for their ego strokes or attention deficiency sh*t in their heads. If you are one, then I curse you ten times over.

6. Long Distance Relationship (LDR) is NEVER a reason for relationship NOT to work.

Its about both parties working on it TOGETHER. It takes two to tango – whether it be a really good dance show or a drunken flamingo. We all have dance styles in each of us and its how we adjust the beats and rhythms to accommodate a dancing partner that makes you really a good dancer.
If you are not the metaphor type then ask someone to translate this for you. Now, if you are good at this, then for Pete’s sake, tell your partner about it. Who knows, he might just learn from you in the long run on how you should help each other make some groovy moves to make a relationship work.
Get creative, share couple rituals that you two only know, and most of all – open up for honest communications. Heck, nobody wants to listen to you all the time and you do not want them to talk about their day throughout the conversations. Make some volleys like real adults do – conversations can save your relationship in the end. People always want to end up with someone who could really talk and listen to them.

7. Do not hit the nine yards when telling something about yourself.

Individuality keeps boring away from any kind of relationships. But for couples, this should remain intact even if you reach (gasp!) marriage. People who tend to blame their partners over something are people who forgot themselves- because they did not keep something about themselves private. Now private here can be on many things. Leave something for your partner to discover for themselves – don’t give it to them in a silver platter.
And there are just some things in life that you should keep mum about. Like how much you make, what you can afford – yes, basically about your financial status. Not that I want you to become like a pig head but these information should not really matter than your personality, right? When a person asks something related to that – well steer clear away because they might just be in the prowl for status and security.
That is why, hypocrisy aside, make sure you have something to offer anybody without your dough backing you up. Bank on intellect, charm, and personality. In real relationships, those are what we are truly dealing about, right? If you substitute money or status for those, well, I am really sorry for you.

8. Friendship is the right foundation to start a relationship.

Relationships are very tricky. But with a firm foundation of mutual respect and understanding about each other – friendship – it can smoothen the rough patches out. Do not limit yourself in the sandbox of romance, dear friend. Real love is a very big white sand beach waiting for you to make foot prints on it! Romance can mislead you into an ideal view of your mate that might get shattered like fragile glass anytime. When it does, finding your mate’s flaws becomes easier and accepting them becomes harder. But with friendship, you put it to yourself to find out your differences and commonalities and work around them. You welcome the challenge because you have respect to understand a person for who they are and share the willingness to accept the good with the bad. Of course, romance can still play a good role – much later when you have learned to respect each other’ss individualities.

9. We are liable for everything we say but not what others think because we have different opinions.

No one wants to fall in love and end up hurting. But what we always fail to consider is that, when we love, we are allowing ourselves feel all possible emotions – love, anguish, frustrations, sadness, hurt, and all other myriad of feelings. It makes and breaks us into the person we can be with its strings and pulls. But we always want to become better and not bitter every time. Everything takes process and every time we break our frail hearts, we learn to search for something in ourselves. We learn to love ourselves more and we finally realize that love does not make sense as long as we are not strong enough to understand its laughter and tears. Love is just that – love and better leave it alone if you aren’t a zombie or a battle-scarred grown-up open pessimist and be sure to have something to give not something to get

10. Rules are meant to be broken.

Break all the rules, even this one. When you have had it and you have given everything, why shouldn’t you? You made the emotional and rational approach and yet you still end up feeling broken and unloved. And when chances come to enjoy love, why not? Love can be the Holy Grail of happiness as it involves self-journey. So do not be such a stuck up and give yourself a break every now and then. Its for free. But freedom has consequences, right? If you fall in love or get heartache (again?!), well read the list over and over again. But always, return to Rule #10 if all else fails!

-tatz/weisguy/kumander-