My father’s having a chest pain last night which lasted long. Worst is, we cannot find his antidote for his chest pain and have to tell my brother to buy instead. But drugstores were already close at that time. Seeing my father gasping for breath and can’t find his position of comfort, I readily called 911 to ask for medical assistance. Unfortunately, there was no any ambulance available and we were advised to take a taxi cab instead.

Initially we planned to buy the drug in the drugstore located in the city, but my father insisted we’ll go directly to the emergency room since he’s still feeling the pain. ECG and troponin I was taken to rule out myocardial infarction. The tests were negative and my father was given a pain reliever. The doctor said he just had a costochondritis, a chest wall pain. Indeed, my father got relieved from the pain reliever he took.

For this week, I was asked to do on call work twice since there were STAT Laparoscopic cases early in the morning where there were no MIS staff to handle from the previous shift. At first, I was reluctant because it means waking up early in the morning to attend to this case. It was kind of tiring since you’ll find yourself sleepy when noon comes. I asked my head if I could just have an early in and early out from work, she agreed to it but during the endorsement she informed me that it was a stat case therefore it was on stat rate so it’s better to file it as on call. The experiences weren’t that bad though.

Went to have my passport renewed and had a travel agency processed it for me and they scheduled me to have my pictorial today. Just had my DFA appearance earlier and I just had this awful image in the photo. It isn’t flattering! It only shows how haggard I looked. I was way too sleepy while waiting for my turn since I came from a night shift duty. Just had 4 hours of sleep. And it looked evident on my photo. I tried to ask the DFA rep to take another shot, but it got worse and so I gave up. Grrr.

Arriving in the unit for duty, I felt the sadness within the department. Apparently, a colleague of ours, just died in the ICU due to Status Asthmaticus. It was saddening for us all. I was even sad when I heard the news even though I wasn’t really close to him. He was an acquaintance. We hang out a couple of times since he’s a friend of our friend too. His death brought sadness to all of us whom he connected with.

Saturday night was fun with my friends. We went clubbing. Lots of eye candies there too. It was fun dancing with my friends all night even though our feet were hurting from standing for like five hours. Nevertheless, we still managed to enjoy the night. Though I’m not really into clubbing, but with them made last night a fun one.

Now I’m worried upon hearing the result of my mom’s consultation with her doctor this morning. She has a very high levels of serum creatinine and is diagnosed having a Stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease Secondary to Diabetic Nephropathy. Having a kidney disease is alarming especially that it’s in the fourth stage already. I’m still hoping and praying that it will be reversible and that my mom could control her sugar level and blood pressure level. It’s significant in keeping her kidneys in good condition. I hope it’s not too late.

As the eldest, I need to help her with her medications and physical check up and other laboratory work ups. But my job isn’t paying that much to support her in all of these and I’m scared that if her condition worsen it would be a great problem for us. I really need to get a job abroad as soon as possible since my parents were already semi-retired. The moment that I feared has already commenced.

Photo credited to criszco of Deviantart.

Recently, work stresses me a lot. With the workload, the unfairness I observe in the unit and the low salary. Keeps me looking forward for my resignation. I’m starting to get burnt out and I’m not happy with my work anymore. I feel it’s more of a stressor for me. And yet, I still have no fall back if ever I do resign. I wanted to work in a more staff friendly institution where the administration also looks up the benefit of their employees. Surely, I still am grateful for being blessed with work, but I guess I need some time off.

Had 5 hours overtime from my duty due to lack of manpower. I feel really exhausted and my back pain is stressing me more. I want to call in sick tomorrow.

It’s sad to see you go! Tried to renew you but there’s no way I can. I was at fault for taking the reminders for granted due to my busy schedule. And now that I am free to give you my full attention, the chance of renewing you came to a halt. I hope there’s still a remedy to it. Coz the last 3 years, you were a good blog to me. Now it’s hard to say goodbye! Good bye my pioneer blog! :’(

It’s nice to hear soothing words from your beloved. Even words declaring how much they love you. But words aren’t enough. Words may give you the feeling of comfort and hope, but if it’s accompanied by actions, this what makes it all worth while and sincere. You have to walk the talk. Coz without it, words aren’t enough.