Category: relationships

Feb 24

Marriage Expiration


*Photo credit to ~revddcs of deviantart.

It’s kinda stupid to think that some politicians are pushing on to make a bill for expirations on marriage licenses. I mean, aren’t there any important issues and bills to make rather than this one? That’s one wordly thing, right? What will happen to the marriage vow that, “’til death do us part?” Isn’t it supposed to be a forever bond and not a renewal thingy? Hays! I don’t think it’s a solution for increasing divorce and annulment cases we have here. It’s even against the bible. What do you think?

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Feb 22

Marriage

Divorce rate has been increasing nowadays. Sadly, there are many broken families out there. Here’s one inspiring short story about marriage. Realizing that one factor that makes marriage boring is that one or both couples did not value the small details in their relationship. And what makes a marriage a failure is when they give up. Make God the center of every relationship.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Matthew 19:6

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Feb 17

Valentine’s Day Story

Here’s another short story I got from facebook. One good story for all who are hopeless romantic and for those who are waiting for their real true love. Reading this had made me fell in love even more with true love. It just prove to show that there are no boundaries when it comes to true love. I hope you’ll enjoy reading this.

One day, a young guy and a young girl fell in love.

But the guy came from a poor family. The girl’s parents weren’t too happy.

So the young man decided not only to court the girl but to court her parents as well. In time, the parents saw that he was a good man and was worthy of their daughter’s hand.

But there was another problem: The man was a soldier. Soon, war broke out and he was being sent overseas for a year.

The week before he left, the man knelt on his knee and asked his lady love, “Will you marry me?” She wiped a tear, said yes, and they were engaged. They agreed that when he got back in one year, they would get married.

But tragedy struck. A few days after he left, the girl had a major vehicular accident. It was a head-on collision.

When she woke up in the hospital, she saw her father and mother crying. Immediately, she knew there was something wrong.

She later found out that she suffered brain injury. The part of her brain that controlled her face muscles was damaged. Her once lovely face was now disfigured. She cried as she saw herself in the mirror. “Yesterday, I was beautiful. Today, I’m a monster.” Her body was also covered with so many ugly wounds.

Right there and then, she decided to release her fiancé from their promise. She knew he wouldn’t want her anymore. She would forget about him and never see him again.

For one year, the soldier wrote many letters—but she wouldn’t answer. He phoned her many times but she wouldn’t return her calls.

But after one year, the mother walked into her room and announced, “He’s back from the war.”

The girl shouted, “No! Please don’t tell him about me. Don’t tell him I’m here!”

The mother said, “He’s getting married,” and handed her a wedding invitation.

The girl’s heart sank. She knew she still loved him—but she had to forget him now.

With great sadness, she opened the wedding invitation.

And then she saw her name on it!

Confused, she asked, “What is this?”

That was when the young man entered her room with a bouquet of flowers. He knelt beside her and asked, “Will you marry me?”

The girl covered her face with her hands and said, “I’m ugly!”

The man said, “Without your permission, your mother sent me your photos. When I saw your photos, I realized that nothing has changed. You’re still the person I fell in love. You’re still as beautiful as ever. Because I love you!”

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Jan 25

Loving Still Despite the Pain

Is loving always equals to pain? How can such an individual still capable of loving someone even he/she knows that there wouldn’t be any chance at all. That even by loving him/her still will result to more pain. Pain that resulted to hearing things that he/she is moving on, meeting and seeing other people. While you on the other hand, is still stuck loving him/her.

Is it just psychological? Or is it because you truly love the person?

It’s really painful loving someone you can’t have even though you knew it’s already over, isn’t it?

Just a thought…

*Photo credited by GeorgiaPeaches of deviantart.

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Jan 18

Is Looking at Others a Form of Adultery?


*Photo credited to ValentinaKallias of deviantart.

A discussion between two married man and a single man took place while they were on duty. They were discussing and asking whether looking at another woman is already a sin in the bible. Isn’t it wrong to admire and just to look at other woman when you are married? I began to think and remembered what I read in the bible about adultery. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “Anyone who looks at a woman with the intentions of possessing her has in fact already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Therefore I conclude that fantasizing is in fact a form of adultery but just merely looking at other woman without any intentions of possessing nor fantasizing is just fine. Fantasizing can lead to increase dissatisfaction to your wife which may lead to harming your marriage.

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Nov 30

Is It Really Necessary?

After breaking up and not communicating for months, is it really necessary for the other party to tell his/her ex that he’s going to search for someone who can love him unconditionally? Out of the blue, after not hearing from each other, you suddenly heard him/her say this. I find it stupid and irrelevant. I mean, what’s the point? You have already broken up and of course you both knew this is possible to happen. That perhaps one of you may find and look for a new love.

Is this just another way of hurting you, getting your attention or perhaps the fact that it’s really over between you two. What do you think?

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Nov 05

To Greet or Not To Greet…

After breaking up, is it considered ethical to greet your ex on his/her birthday? Even if you still have grudges in him/her?

You might think that with greeting your ex, you are giving him an impression that you still like him/her and wants him/her back. With that in mind, you want to avoid that connotion thus thinking that it’s better not to greet. But will your ex think that it seemed you don’t care at all? Thinking that it seemed like you two didn’t have any history at all?

Hmm…just a thought.

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Sep 18

Minding Your Own Business

It is rude for people to meddle with other couple’s problems, especially when it is about the couple’s relationship. Confidants neither don’t have the right to meddle and to criticize the other party on why the relationship didn’t work. Friends are there to listen and not to judge.

There is this girl who has a romantic interest in a particular guy. This guy got hurt from his long time girlfriend and seeks comfort and shares his concerns with this girl friend. The girl friend knew all about the couple’s problem. The girlfriend on the other hand, tried hard to reconcile with the guy even if it meant being desperate and low. After several months, even after the break up, the ex couple still remained their lines of communication open. This got the girl friend pissed and started making personal attacks on the ex girlfriend online.

With the scenario above, does the girl friend had any right to meddle with the ex couple’s problem? Whatever problem this couple had, she should stay away from it. She doesn’t have any right or whatsoever to judge the ex girlfriend, or to even annoy her  and make her jealous because in the first place, the girl friend never had him as her boyfriend.

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Aug 24

The Art of Letting Go

Letting_Go_by_TheMadScientist

Everybody says around you that you have to let go to safeguard yourself from further pain. But the truth is, it’s hard to let go. Though our mind tells us to, but our heart still holds on. It would really take time for acceptance that things has changed and that it’s time to let go. So here’s a meaningful message about letting go I read online. I hope this would enlighten each and everyone of us.

Letting go is a subject all of us want to deny talking about. Nobody with a sound judgment likes to have all the days work listening to some depressing story.

Yet one has to view that it’s a way of refreshing a battered core that in many ways may have reach a threshold of defiance.

Every reason can be put to challenge as you go to this process.
The head may be too reasonable to appreciate it, but the heart takes all the gamble in reasoning. Which put us to some perspective that the mind cannot choose what the heart wants to feel.

If this happen then letting go has its dilemma for one very simple reason! HOPE. The hoping part is the one killing all romantics. Loving without hoping is dull.

It’s by far the most powerful tool Pandora’s box have unleash to all would-be lovers.It illuminates a dark pathway of opportunities , with so much extended questions.

There will always be a big gap that cannot be undone. The aches that comes with it, and the effort of holding on to it. The big question arises if one is ready to give up.

Pretty sure letting go is never easy, it takes courage and an unbelievable amount of sacrifice.Knowing that after doing it, you’ll probably hurt yourself more and at the same time the gift of healing by the advances you may gain.

It’s a matter of choice..of weighing the consequences and with this realization comes another level of maturity.There is a time for everything, and letting go has its own duration.The art of letting go is simply a matter of choice and emerging from the experience though maybe broken, BUT full of undying hope and picking up the lessons learned.
It is a constant cycle evolving due to different circumstances that comes with every single human being .

With every pain you are being put into a corner wherein you cannot seem to find an exit, and once you do, you let go. tears, sadness and heart aches in the meantime.

And when you are ready, you embrace the future and look forward to a new beginning.

*Photo credit to TheMadScientist of deviantart.

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Aug 17

Soulmates

Do you believe in soulmates? How do you know who your soulmate is? Here’s what I read about soulmates I found online.  Have you found yours?

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master”

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